And the music is OFF to the artist.

We'll be gong off on a holiday in a couple of days, and will be gone just about a week. During that time, I will be with family 24/7. I'm actually looking forward to it. While I like this, I get lonely during the day.

I sent the soprano's part of the music to the artist today. I wanted to send just the simple melody. I think I will call him to discuss what I want in more detail. I'm hoping he can work it into the final illustration. He thought he'd have the sketches done by the end of the year. That would be about a month before I expected them.

What to do about the sound, though???

I've got friends in all sorts of places.

I haven't written anything here for a while, but the project marches on. I've mentioned that I asked my friend to check the music for me. She liked it, and asked a friend of hers to arrange it. She then had her orchestra perform it, with a sweet girl singing the lyrics as a soprano. The performance was Thursday a week ago, and I absolutely adored it. It was not professional quality, but it was really good from high-school kids. I was so touched when the music swelled and the harps came in. I was pleased with the outcome.

While I was there, the local school access channel reporter was there, and the director of the program. They "interviewed" me, and I mentioned to her that I'm going to try to get the book published. She said, "Well, have you talked to...." I didn't know who that was. It turns out there is a local publisher. He started by publishing his wife's book, and has expanded to publish work of other local writers. He and his wife are interested in my layout, and we have made plans to talk again after the first of the year.

One moral of my story is never underestimate the power of friends.


I still don't have the sound insert worked out. Maybe I'll do that when I finish painting the fence. It's going to be 65 degrees F today, and that may be the warmest for a few weeks.

I hope this blog is of service to someone. It is, at very least, an exersize in keeping me focused.

A bad "fit" is news, I suppose.

Just a quick entry - I've not had a lot of time to post here, nor much to say. As I waited in the airport on the way back from my trip for the wedding of a niece, I found a traditional publisher of baby books. I'm going to send a query this week. The discussion with the agent I was so excited about did not go well. He said in a follow up email, rather gently, I think, that "this project is not a good fit [with our agency]." *L* In other words, he didn't want anything to do with it.
Jan's daughter has written a book and is looking into publishing. The world is so full of coincidences! I need to make another "paste up" and send it to Jan. It isn't professional at all, but it might give the students the idea of what we are doing.

I need to get moving for the day. I've let a lot of physical projects go because it was so hot out, but I need to finish them or put the stuff away. Here's to brick paths and flower beds that hold actual flowers.

About music and motivation

A key to this little book is the music that will go with it. I'm making arrangements to register the song, but to do so I need a copy of the music. Talk about a comedy of errors. I haven't had any musical training since I was maybe 10 or 11, and I was not a good student. In addition, I have no musical instrument to try to make the song on, so I was on a site with a partial electronic key board. I'd plunk around until I found the sequence that sounded right, and then I wrote the letters down. The only problem was that the keyboard didn't span the octave and a half that I needed, but the song did. I'd have to switch from A below middle C to A below high C to play the complete phrase, or movement, or moment or whatever it is called...to get all my notes in the right order. Next, I printed out a blank set of lines, and using my "FACE" and "Every Good Boy Does Fine" mnemonics, I drew little circles where the notes would go. Then I sat there singing and tapping and tapping and singing, trying to get the length of the notes right. Lucky for me, the song only uses notes I already knew how to draw! I scanned in the hand drawn music, and used a word-processor to add the lyrics over the top. This is what I took to my friend Jan. She played it for me, and said she liked it. She asked if I'd be willing to let her students perform it in the December concert. I'd be delighted. I said as much. In any case, she's going to get a printout for me from a friend of hers- so I'll have the hard copy to send in for the registration. She also is going to arrange it for harp and strings. I am really looking forward to hearing it again, with others involved. Note to self- this networking thing is cool!

I called today to see if she had the hard copy, but she was not available. I do hope to take care of that before I go to Las Vegas for a wedding late next week. I'm not a musician of any sort, but this part has been fun for me. The reading of web-site after web site, slogging through the Writer's Market articles...that is depressing after a while. Also, revisiting the pain of some of the novel draft is wearing. After a very little scrap of time spent typing, I feel a strong need to just put the manuscript away for a while. If it bothers me this much to re-read it and type it, why on earth would anyone else want to read it at all. I'm sure glad I have the children's book to help me along and keep me motivated.

Oh, a positive note, my artist gave me an agent's name, and when I called, he said he'd like to talk to me further, but he was not feeling well at the time I called. I e-mailed him today. I do hope I hear back soon.

Progress?

I got the first rough sketch from the artist today. I had an e-mail from him last week that it would be coming today, and I must have checked the e-mail 50 times...and there, at 10:30 AM, was the sketch. The characters are wonderful...beautiful detail. The sketch was a possible layout for the cover. I had a few small suggestions, but I was pleased with the character development.

I also met with Jan M. She has access to a computer program that does professional looking sheet music, so I should be able to get that as early as Friday of this week, and send it off for the registration as soon as I make a zillion photocopies! She was so sweet - she talked about performing the song at a concert in December. I also met the woman I spoke to on the phone earlier in the summer. She's teaching at the elementary school where I walk. She had duty this morning, and we just struck up a conversation. I approached her on a whim. It turns out she and I have a great deal in common.

I've started in retyping the first draft of the novel. I have the pages, but they are hard-copy, and impossible to edit easily. I am not happy about parts of it, but I can not yet see the solution to my objections in my mind. When I was designing the children's book, as soon as I solved a key question of narration, the rest just fell into place. This is harder. Some passages are too conversational. If I'm going to tell it from the child's point of view instead of from the safety of adulthood looking back, I'm really going to have to refine the voice. I still think first person is the best approach, but I am not "convinced" about just who my narrator is.

In all, yes, I'm making progress, but not quickly. I want it all done yesterday.
Unfortunately,I rarely get what I want. Perhaps that's a good thing in disguise! I want some silly stuff sometimes.

Well, at least the house is clean.

We've had a schedule change. As my son goes off to school each day, I've been finding lots of things other than writing to do. Three nights each week, I spend 2 or more hours at his football practice now. I don't have to, but it is an opportunity for me to walk, and I know he likes having us there. He is growing up so fast it is amazing. I do need to buckle down and get some work done, though. Tom is talking about staying home beginning in January. I don't know if that's just because he had a bad week, or because he is ready, finally, to take care of himself.

I called Jan M. today, a friend from my teaching days. I've got an appointment next Friday at 2:30 to see her and have her check the music for accuracy. She's such a sweet person.

I'm also going to see my teaching friend M. M. - and take her to lunch in all likelihood.

I've been fighting depression the last few weeks. We'll see how the next week or so go.

editing

The sentences I wrote a few days ago didn't really work as an opening salvo, after all. The first couple of sentences need to state the problem, arriving quickly at that moment when the character's life changes forever. This would not be that moment. Better leave it for another point in the story. I was telling someone recently that editing my own work is difficult for me. I fall in love with this sentence or that passage, and cutting it is like turning my back on something inside myself. I've read of authors who write bare-bones the first time through, and use re-writes to layer in depth and clarity. My own process is more ...um...promiscuous. I put down all my thoughts, and then try to sort through to find the ones that belong.

Regarding music - I think I'll need to handle that as a "plus item" rather than a novelty book. I need to check the manufacturer for a music box I already have to see if they take commission work. I've also e-mailed the music director at the local high school to proof-read the lullaby for me. He's to contact me when he has time to work with me.


Regarding art - I called a niece to send a few photos that I could forward to the artist. She's a beautiful young mother, exactly the kind of young woman I had imagined for the lullaby. The girl wasn't in, so I called my sister. I also need to put "write to my niece" on my to-do list.

I stopped at Staples while the guys were at a fast food place nearby. They can do a 16 page tape bound copy with a clear cover. That would have the first and last pages as the book cover. It would be like a bound galley to see how the book actually worked. Documenting how it goes over would be "research" for the publisher.

It's late. I should get going.

opening salvo

I've been thinking about "first sentences" -- Sissy balanced a moment in the cold blue evening, watching the golden rim of the valley as it seemed to hold silent and still the rising golden moon. Then the sun slipped behind the hill to the west; the gilding to the east vanished; the moon slipped away from the clutch of the valley’s rim; and Sissy left the solitude and peace of the moment as she entered the porch, facing the yellow kitchen. Steam from the warm air fogged her glasses.

I'll think it over for a couple of days.

Artist contract!

I am a Paypal transaction away from being officially contracted with an artist. His name is Paul M. The studio is Adexim Studios. A link to the iFreelance.com site will take you to a profile and other links to his portfolio. I feel really lucky to have found this: http://www.ifreelance.com/provider/detail.aspx?providerid=11916

I am really looking forward to working with this talented man. He's going to set up a web site so that I can follow the progress as we go.

Cool, Huh?!

Bids bids bids.

I got a total of 92 bids for the art project. That was really exciting for me, but it was difficult to narrow them down to a single artist. I've made the award, and will get payment sent and the project started soon.

We got back today from the funeral yesterday. I'm really glad I went up last week, because I actually got to say my goodbyes to Uncle Ralph. He was really an interesting man, but he had become very introspective and quiet in the years I knew him as an adult.

I don't have much else to say just now. Glad to be home, miss my family...

good advice, badly followed

I've been advised that to be a successful writer I have to write every day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Good advice, but badly followed.

I do write everyday, but not always about "the story." The rejection notes to the wonderful artists have been difficult. I have some segments, "I've decided to work with a different artist," that are pretty much one-size-fit-all. However, these people took time to make sketches, ask questions, think about my project. I know how I'd want to be treated. The least I can do is give each a note. While we travel to Colorado for my uncle's funeral, I doubt that I put a word on anything more than the visitor's log or the charge card slip for the hotel room. Does that mean that this isn't important to me? I've heard that conclusion being figuratively jumped to before. Yes, where we put our time is more an indication of our values than where we put our words. But family matters to me, and I can put one important thing on hold for a while to deal with another important thing. Life isn't all or nothing. It is a negotiation between the good things we want and the structure we have to have to get those good things. Like bridges on I35W, we may not want to take the time or make the effort to maintain the structure, but results when we don't are worse than not getting 250 new words on paper.

Of course, the lullaby is completely written. It was written when my elder son was still a baby, and first performed shortly before Christmas in 1981. I sang it to my son and my husband while we were driving in the old mustard yellow, dented-on-every-possible-surface 1973 Toyota pickup. I recorded it first in 1982 after Helen came to visit us. We put it on an audio-tape we sent to her. We had made several tapes for her. When we went to visit her, she sat down at her piano and opened sheet music, and began to play a lovely arrangement she had made for us of the song. I do not know what happened to that sheet music. I would love to have it now.

This may well be the last entry until after school starts--not because I don't care, but because I need to maintain my bridges.

drowning in minutia

I've been researching publishing. I need to decide very soon how big the children's book is going to be. To do that, I need to know how I'm going to publish it. I have some basic options, each of which has its own down-side and its own advantages.

1. self-publish, which means that I form a company and contract for everything from art and layout (The contract is nearly done, by the way) to printing and distributing. I would take on many of the functions myself as the "publishing company." I think this is what Tom expects me to do. I'm author, editor, art director, proofreader, publicist, and truck driver. I suppose that would make him accounting and finance. Any legal hurdles would be mine (researching the hazards of doing a novelty book at a quarter past 11 PM, for example). No help in registering the copyright, applying for the ISBN, getting the barcode, etc. - all my own tasks. There is a mountain of work to make the book come together. The big advantage is that I get exactly what I want, and up to the point of contracting with a printer, I control the costs. The major disadvantages are that I have to learn everything, and that usually means doing it wrong first, from what I've read. Biggest advantage - if I sweat the small stuff, it gets done.
   
2. Vanity press, especially POD or Print-On-Demand press, a "package" where I turn over the print-ready pages for printing and packaging. Upside - I get a little help with some aspects like the ISBN number and bar code, if I pay for that help, and the number of books I have to have in any run are totally up to me. In other words, I can print 4, sell 4, and print 4 more. Downside - low front end is countered by high back end. The cost of the printing never ever goes down, and it is really hard to break even this way. It may also be impossible to do a novelty book or book plus music box this way. (I can to "test runs" this way before going to a traditional offset press, though) Biggest advantage - they don't turn anyone down unless they are writing overt pornography or libel. The printer doesn't want to wind up in court. Since I'm not writing either of those (!) they will take my money and give me a book, guaranteed.
   
3. Offset press package - I haven't FOUND one of these, but I'm told they exist. Must be related somehow to the vanity press, with the disadvantage of being pricey for what you get. Advantage - reprints in large runs are cheaper, if the book catches fire like the gate at Yellowstone in August.
   
4. Traditional publishing house. Advantage - professionals to help me create and market the book, and they handle the minutia. Disadvantage - loss of creative control (not sure that's a biggy) and absolutely no guarantee that they will ever even accept or publish the book. They could in theory -- and I'm lead to believe in practice -- tie the book up for months or even a couple of years, and then send me a rejection letter.
   
5. Non-traditional self publishing. I could purchase Adobe programs to produce high quality PDF files, scan in the art I'm buying, and take the works down to Kinkos on a disc to have a few dozen printed and bound. I could even get a nice looking sort of paperback with about a thousand dollars worth of gear. Advantage - DONE. Disadvantage - look and feel homemade, but given the purchase of art at iFreelance, with very nice art work.

A word about finding an artist for the children's book here - Before I left last week, I set up a request for bids at a place called iFreelance.com. I am totally impressed with that site. They provide a ton of information; I got high-quality bids and interest by more than 85 artists, most of whom were really good. I've known a lot of artists over the years, and while some were salt of the earth types, a few were major flakes. I think a few of these bids were from young people who woke up and said, "I think I'll be an artist this week." Those were the exceptions, and easily weeded out, not the rule. Some of these people were quite expensive, but spectacularly skilled.
I would not hesitate to use this site again. I may not have to, since I have a financial and working relationship with an artist now. (Actually, and artist and his spouse, I think. They answer in the plural - "we") The pinning down of artists has been fun, though somewhat tense, as well. AFTER I started, I learned that traditional publishers almost never use contract illustrators other than those they already have a working relationship with. In other words, if I take this to a vanity press, do it myself, or use on-demand printing or even my kinkos copy , and then use that result as my submission copy, they may still insist on getting - probably at my expense again - an artist of their own liking to do the traditionally published version of the book.

Progress - I figured out the tune, I think, using an online virtual keyboard to test out the notes, and then wrote them down by hand. It looks pretty unprofessional, and I'm not even sure all the notation is correct. I think it will be okay for the copyright registry, though. I hope so, any way. David made a music file for me, but he hasn't sent it yet, and I was a little surprised at how much his varied from what I remember singing to him.

He told me, by the way, that he sings his lullaby to Maya when she is restless. I thought that was so sweet.

I can not get the Adobe to save documents for me. VERY frustrating.

I ought to post here about the product safety thing with a novelty book, a novelty book vs. a book plus music box, etc. However, it is late and I'm getting drowsy. I've been out of pocket because I went to visit an uncle who was quite ill. I got back Friday after seeing him on Thursday. I got word Monday that he has died, and his services will be held Friday morning. Tom will go along, so I won't have that horrendous 12 hour drive all by myself this time.Tomorrow I get ready to go back to Colorado.

Knee deep in possibilities

There is so MUCH information out there! I decided to post a bid proposal on a freelance web site, and I've gotten 37 bids in the first 24 hours...actually fewer than 24 hours. I've been overwhelmed in a way. I've seen a couple of images that were right up the alley of what I want, but they were not cheap. There were a few bids that were so low I wondered if the artist understood what I was asking for. I don't want to waste anyone's time, but at the same time, if I don't ask, I'll never get a reply. Several of the artists are really talented, but they don't seem to have what I want already. I suspect they can, just never put that perfect match in the portfolio. There are a few who seem so sincere, but the work is "cute" and cartoon-like rather than the beautiful images I want to use.
We have talked about the options of going through a traditional publisher or doing a "self-publishing" project. Right now, we are thinking self-published. I have a book coming about publishing through traditional routes, but until it arrives, I am, as my father would say, going ahead on. Cost is an object, but I have a great deal of freedom to pursue this project. My life is good.

I haven't typed a word on the other book all week, and this is Wednesday. Putting in the hours isn't the problem. It's just that I can bury myself in "research" in no time, and not get any measurable progress. I wonder how typical that is. I have seen people do it in office situations all the time.

The elder son has not yet sent the music. I may look for a site on line to type it up myself! I wouldn't be surprised if such a site exists.

no, huh...

The artist I spoke of the other day was not interested after all. She did, however, give me a couple of other contacts here in town and a couple of books that give names and addresses of traditional publishing houses. She said that often the publisher will pair a writer up with an artist.
I thought that is was nice of her to take the time to give me a little advice.

Other book - not much done today. I will work on the typing before I go to sleep.

threads in the fabric

For the children's book project, I worked several threads today: I refined the layout for double page spreads, which was simple. More importantly, I contacted an artist. I'm not sure her style will mix well with what I have in mind. Her samples were cute. I'm looking for beautiful. I haven't actually spoken to her yet. I also got the name of the president of the local art guild. I've seen some of her paintings, I think.

Another thread was the technical part. I discovered that the sound recorder chips are readily available on the net, and it will be fairly simple to put together a prototype. I also requested my elder son to write down the musical notations for me. That doesn't mean I'm any closer to done with these projects, but I'm confident that we have started.

I also gave some thought to the first sentence for my "real" book. I want to draw the reader in, convey a sense of internal division - balancing between solitude and isolation. The first is voluntary, self imposed, a quiet moment watching a sunset, for example. The second, for my character, is not so much chosen as accepted. The events isolate the character, and she internalizes that as being separated from those around her in a fundamental or even spiritual way. The contrast is the crowded small house, and the empty wider world, and the house being the more lonely of the two.

Not exactly a "sentence" there, is it? I'm still playing with it, but I will put words on paper before I go to bed tonight.

One day, one delay !

The very first thing that happened as I discussed this project with my husband was that he asked me to delay the full scale book and finish a children's book idea that has been kicking around in my head for ... gosh, 26 years. Anyway, the basis has. The idea of publishing it as a book is more recent. I got so bold as to record a version for my mother-in-law. Other than my own children and my husband, she is the only one I know for sure has heard it. I don't think my own mother ever heard it at all.

In any case, my time tonight was spent on refining the layout and looking on line at "on demand" publishers. I have some technical elements that I am not even sure what to call. On the market now are little story books that make sound effects when the child touches a part of the book. That is similar to what I want. I'm willing to do this first. It will give me some experience with the publishing world, any way. I can still write while I wait for this to happen.

Is this a cop-out?

New month, new day, new chance

I'm writing the blog before I started the work of the day. As I made my list last night, I didn't add "write." I want that to be so much part of the routine that I don't HAVE to include it any more than I include "draw a breath." I do need to guard against my own tendency to delay, however. So today is the first day of my process. I plan to retype what I have written so far, my "first first first draft" written years ago. Much of it will be incorporated, if in a different form, into the book. I have no electronic copy, and thus no easily editable copy of what I've already mulled over. How much of that "old" stuff should be used? I wrote it originally out of the pain of events, and I've grown to be a different person since that original pain, since that original writing, and since that original clarification of who and what I am. I wrote it for a class, and I consciously made it "neat" so that it would fit into what I thought the instructor wanted. The ragged edges of the actual events were part of why I still feel the need to write.

So, how does one balance the old with the new?

A friend has a photo on his blog of a tyrannosaurus rex, and I remain intrigued by how it relates to his life or point of view. I think I'm a bit less cryptic than he is, or perhaps just more wordy. The photo above is of a century plant blossom. It was taken near where I live. Here is another photo I like, of Rattlesnake Canyon near the famous Carlsbad Caverns National Park. Both photos are related to this blog because in each life there is beauty, if we are not blinded by our expectations. I drove down the scenic drive that passes Rattlesnake Canyon recently with someone who could only see what it was not - thus she missed the beauty of what it was.

Pouring tea into the flood waters

With the flood of blogs on the net, one might legitimately ask why I'm adding my own glass of tea to the verbal waters. The answer is that I want to write. More specifically, I want to record my process, and perhaps stay better on track, as I spend about two hours a day for the next year writing what I hope is a memoir or biographical novel. My life is not unusual, I think, but it has been eventful, and I wonder if it might be instructive to others. I have a cousin, a glorious woman with her own full life and wonderful attitude, who often sends me jokes and quips. Her most hilariously personal was "Take heart: If you can't be a wonderful role model, you can still act as a horrible warning." I wonder, which, if EITHER, this year will leave me thinking I am.